Holy Trinity Anglican Orthodox Church

 

Twentieth Sunday after Trinity

October 21, 2007

Ephesians 5:21-6:9

 Does the Family Matter?

I am going to make a statement, and I ask you to tell me if I am correct.  Three sure signs of a decaying culture are; a decline in religion, a rise in violent crime, and a decline of the family.  Am I correct on this?  I do not say these are the only signs of  decaying culture, but would you agree that they are some of the signs of a decaying culture?  Would you go so far as to say they are major signs of a decaying culture?  Then, if you are correct, and I believe you are, America is in deep trouble.  Religion has declined.  Real church membership, meaning active membership and participation is down and declining.  Attempting to increase attendance, churches have compromised the faith, resorted to gimmicks, and adopted the forms and values of the culture around them.  And crime is increasing.  I could multiply statistics about this, but you already know it is true.  As for the family, it is not just in decline, it is almost dead.  A growing number of children are being born to single mothers.   Many people don’t bother to get married anymore.  Many fathers never bother with their children.  Many mothers don’t either.  And this is happening more and more in families across America.

I am not surprised by this at all.  When you tell people they are animals they will act like animals.  When you tell people everything is O.K. they will do everything.  When you tell people morality is simply a matter of personal choice, the family is only an outdated human invention, and sex is just a recreational sport, they will act like it.  So we are in one of those downward spirals in America, like a plane  with a bad engine.  We have let our faith decline.  This has led to the decline of the family, which, in turn, has brought about the increase in crime.  And the increase in crime leads to more decline of the family, which leads right back to a further decline in religion.  And so it goes, around and around and down and down until …, crash.  And that leads us to our question for today, “Does the family matter?”  Let me say with relief that God’s answer is, “yes!”

The family is good for us.  I sometimes hear people say they don’t want to be entangled in relationships.  They want to be free, make their own decisions, and live their own lives. They don’t want the burdens and responsibilities of a family.   Well listen to this.  The family is good for us. Or, perhaps I should say, a good family is good for us. Recent studies have shown that  people in a good marriage live longer and are happier than those who aren’t “happily married.”  I am sure that a study of single people with strong involvement in good families are just as happy and live just as long as their married counterparts. And study after study shows again that children raised in traditional families are healthier, better adjusted, and higher achievers than others.  Here, again, of course, I refer to good families.  The Bible speaks truth when in Genesis 2:18 God says, “It is not good that the man should be alone,” (Gen. 2:18).  And He “setteth the solitary in families,” (Ps. 68:6).

The family is important because it was invented by God. When God created Man and Woman He placed them together  in the relationship of the family.    Our Prayer Book, referring to Scripture, reminds us that marriage is, “an honorable estate, instituted of God, … and commended of Saint Paul,”  (BCP p. 300).  The Bible says;

“And the Lord God caused a deep sleep to fall upon Adam, and he slept: and he took one of his ribs, and closed up the flesh instead thereof; and the rib, which the Lord God had taken from the man, made he a woman, and brought her unto the man.  And Adam said, this is bone of my bones, and flesh of my flesh: she shall be called Woman, because she was taken out of man.  Therefore shall a man leave his father and his mother, and shall cleave unto his wife: and they shall become one flesh,” (Gen. 2:21-24). 

When God created children he placed them into the context of the family.  The commandment to “be fruitful and multiply” was given to the family.  Cain and Abel were born into the context of a family. The reading from Ephesians shows that God intends for children be raised in the context of the family.  Children are to obey.  Husband are to love their wives as Christ loves the Church.  Wives are to submit to their husbands.  Fathers are not to provoke their children.  The whole passage assumes and demands a family context.

God also organized the family.  Its structure is not left to our imaginations, or to what we think it “ought” to be, or to the politically correct whims of the culture around us.  God gave the structure of the family, and He based it on the principle of mutual submission.  A lot of people miss that in the Bible.  A  lot of people, men especially, jump right into Ephesians 5:22, “Wives submit yourselves unto your own husbands as unto the Lord,” but completely overlook Ephesians 5:21, “Submitting yourselves one to another in the fear of God.”  Mutual submission is the first rule of being a family.  Wives submit, husbands love, children obey, fathers do not provoke,  are the ways we  live and practice the principle of mutual submission.  The biblical family submits to one another, not as dogs groveling in the dust, not as slaves.  But as free souls fully equal before God, and different in function in the partnership of the family, and in the shared goal of the glory of God in the home.  The biblical family works together.  The biblical family is not characterized by power struggles, but by love and submission.  The biblical family has family goals, family values, and family responsibilities. 

So the family is important because it is good for us, because God created it, and because God organized it.  But it only is good when it is solidly based on the principle of mutual submission..  That’s just another way of saying Christ is the head of the home.  He is the Head of the family as surely as He is the head of the Church.  And a happy home-life is simple to achieve.  I didn’t say easy, I said simple.  The more closely we follow the Bible in our family, the more fulfilling and happy it will be.  The further we get away from it the more misery we pile upon ourselves.  I want to say something now.  I say this mostly because this sermon will eventually be on our internet site, and may be read  by people who aren’t in good family situations.  Maybe a man who has begotten children, but never been a father will read it.  Maybe a woman who has  given birth but never been a mother will read it.  Maybe children who are rebellious and unconnected to their parents will read it.  Maybe unmarried but sexually active people will read it.  To all of these people I want to say it is time for you to accept your God-given responsibilities.  You’re not “playing house” here.  Stop fretting so much about your rights and start living up to your responsibilities.  The family is worth it.

I close today with the prayer for families  found on page 598 of the Book of Common Prayer.

“Almighty God, our heavenly Father, who settest the solitary in families; We commend to thy continual care the homes in which thy people dwell.  Put far from them, we beseech thee, every root of bitterness, the desire of vain-glory, and the pride of life.  Fill them with faith, virtue, knowledge, temperance, patience, godliness.  Knit together in constant affection those who, in holy wedlock, have been made one flesh; turn the heart of the fathers to the children, and the heart of the children to the fathers; and so enkindle fervent charity among us all, that we may be evermore kindly affectioned with brotherly love; through Jesus Christ our Lord. Amen.”

The Rev. Dr. R. Dennis Campbell, Vicar, Holy Trinity Anglican Church, 

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